What are your goals for today, this week, this month? You decide. It is totally up to you. Please write them down.
You have done this before (to set goals for yourself), but you have failed to stay on track. Remember? We discussed this in the Self-Discovery interview. You, yourself, said that you thought that part of the reason that you have failed to stay on course has been that you have a Mind-Based Habit of Low Self-Exertion (MBH-LSE). So, if nothing changes, nothing changes. Unless something changes, you will almost certainly revert back to your usual pattern of quitting before you finish with the reasonable goals that you have set for yourself.
This is were your Get Help Get Active encouraging friend comes in. The relationship that you build with them can make a difference.
Unfortunately, people (especially those who suffer from MBH-LSE) tend to find creative ways to eliminate encouraging friends (or coaches) from their life. That is a problem. Lets prepare for that by anticipating possible issues that could come up, which might cause the relationship to disintegrate:
Problems with the Coach:
- Coach is a Jerk – This does happen sometimes. Remember, your coach is only human, and he is not a social-services professional. He is just a volunteer who wants to help you and is willing to do it for free. In any case – tell your coach if he is getting too pushy! There is a natural tendency among coaches to try to hurry things along. Also, there is a natural tendency (among some coaches) to become “controlling”. Tell your coach if you think that that is happening! The process of helping you to change from a bad-work-ethic to a good-work-ethic is not going to be easy. The coach needs to be aware that change will be hard for the client.
- Coach is Changing Client’s Goals – This would not be a problem if the client would just write them down! That way, there would be a standard that everyone could go back to.
- Coach Molly-Coddles Client – This is extremely unlikely. It is much more likely that your coach will be a pushy or controlling jerk. If you suspect that you are being molly-coddled, then please let the GHGA staff know and we will find a new coach for you, asap.
Problems with the Client:
- Client No Longer Needs Coach – No problem. If you can keep yourself on-track without any help then we congratulate you on your self-discipline. We wish you well. Feel free to re-establish contact with us again in the future if you like.
- Client is a Rigid Under-Achiever Who Suddenly Realizes That He Has Been Trapped Into Doing Something That is Actually Going To Help Him, So He Starts to Look for Ways to Weasel Out – This is the usual case. The best way to deal with this is to admit it to yourself and to your coach. Coaches: If you suspect that this is happening to your client, then tell them! Talk about it!
- Client Dumbs-Down His Own Goals – This is a sneaky, passive-aggressive way to end the client/coach relationship without having to actually face up to the fact that the client is bailing out. For example, lets suppose that the client’s original goal was: “I will get out of bed at 8 AM every day.” Then the “dumbed-down” version might be to just convert “8 AM” into “2 PM”. See how easy that was? In this case, the coach and client need to have a talk. You need to either agree to reasonable goals or you need to end the relationship.
Okay – those are some of the possible pitfalls – so be warned! But be encouraged, too! This is your life. This is your chance to make the real changes that you have always dreamt about. Your coach can help you to become the person that you want to be. All you need to have is the willingness to participate!
The Final Step
The final step is that the coach and client need to work out a communication schedule. Talk about what you think would work, but don’t try to be too precise. For example: Every day? Mondays and Thursdays? Once a year on the 5th Friday in May? (Not!) Flexibility, communication and good-humor are the keys. Don’t loose sight of the devastating weakness that brought you together with your coach in the first place!
MBH-LSE is a disability of the spirit. If you are the client, then be willing to accept encouragement with good cheer. Be willing to admit it when you crap-out on your goals. (If you already had your act together, then you wouldn’t need to have a coach, now would you?!) If you are the coach, then be a friend. Remember, this guy or gal is hurting. They are suffering from a bad-work-ethic brain-washing. Be gentle with them, but be firm. Don’t give up when they tell you that they slept all day. MHB-LSE is a disease of the belief system. Lets work together and see if we can find a cure.